HELLO

.If i had a ticket i went would visit to karbala. Mourning for the Imam HUSSEIN and his pilgrimage at this time (What? incomplete sentence)

Another reason for me to go to Karbala to calm emotional and mental After a year of studying  and being away from spiritual and Self Storage and of course, escape the crowds and  problems in the world today...I Close covenant with him and I will enter him in a way that. (This is a run on sentence. A run on sentence has different sentences together without enough verbs and punctuation patterns :( You might say: Another reason for my interest in Karbala is its spiritual atmosphere. I want to be away from the busy modern life for a while).  

It is an suitable opportunity...Thank you, it was a good trip

My dear Sheida,

Nice idea! But the sentences were not very supportive. I found only two supporting sentences one of them was very long and the other one separated in another line. You need to be more specific in writing a paragraph. It seems that you translate your thoughts from Farsi to English. Avoid doing that. English sentences have special structure different from Farsi ones. Keep these points into consideration while writing your next paragraph.

Best,

Nami